Today (11/18) is the one year anniversary of the accident that completely turned my world upside down. I’ve honestly really been struggling over the past few weeks leading up to what I thought would be a really hard day for me.
I’ve wrestled with my mind as there are days when it wants to tally up all the things I still can’t do and all that I still struggle with, and as much as I have appreciated all of the well-intentioned “you need to think positive, where you are compared to where you were” comments, I needed to spend some time being ok with not being ok…to process the loss of parts of me, of my life.
The reality is, I’m still recovering. I have found an incredible partner in Dr. Royer, and I have made so much progress. Things are different, many things are really hard, and that’s ok.
I have a wonderful family and an amazing community for encouragement and support …and most importantly, I have my faith. It has been really beautiful to see how God has provided for me, how he has led me through literal darkness.
During worship this morning, as the tears streamed down my cheeks, I saw him walking with me through the entire last year. The song “Great are you Lord” has been my anthem throughout this time, and of course, that was the last song in the set!
When God is the only one who can possibly understand such personal struggle, surrender is the best response. I truly believe he has purpose in this, and my prayer is that I have eyes wide open to what or who he has to show me. PThat I don’t miss opportunities to give him the Glory for my healing, for my journey.
I’ve made peace with this milestone, and I’m grateful for the gift this year has been…for all it has taught me. I’m giving myself Grace to accept where I am, but I’m certainly not giving up.
I’m putting in work everyday to continue to get better.
Mind, body, and spirit.
Standing on his promises.
Trusting what is true.